What if Im Living This Same Life Over Again

What If You Had to Repeat Your Life Forever?

The concept of eternal recurrence is both fascinating and haunting

What if y'all had to live your life all over over again, from the starting time mean solar day to the last — with no changes at all, the same choices made and every detail already fixed?

This isn't like Groundhog Day, where you go along repeating one twenty-four hours until — cue cheerful music — you lot figure out what yous were doing wrong and the loop breaks. Then you somehow make a drastic change, your entire perspective on life shifted even as the outside world barely moves frontward in time. That's how it works in feel-expert movies. That's how it works in stories where a sensible ending is necessary.

Simply here'southward something thornier: stretch out Groundhog Day to a lifetime, and accept it run on infinity, with no escape promised — and no changes allowed. That'south the rough idea of eternal recurrence, a concept of time that humans take been playing with since the ancients decided to speculate most the nature of the universe.

Quantum physics hasn't exactly figured out how fourth dimension works yet, meaning that this is a mystery that's been on our heads for ages. Clocks and calendars paint time as linear, the numbers calculation up neatly.

But what if time actually is circular, like the classic symbol of the ouroboros where a snake bites its tail to form a perfect, unbreakable band?

Afterwards all, nature seems to favor the cyclical. The seasons have turns every twelvemonth, human beings come out into the world as screechy babies and so bring forth the next generation and deliquesce back into the earth, and even the sunrise and the dusk mark each of our days.

(Source: 1478 drawing by Theodoros Pelicanos)

If fourth dimension is circular, then presumably, we will reach the so-called terminate eventually — simply to cycle back to the showtime, history starting from nada all over again. The clock rewinds in a wink. The universe volition play out every bit neatly as a chess game, waiting for y'all to appear in the scene after thousands of years — and you'll step into your role faithfully, never diffusive from the gestures yous made in other cycles.

Is this horrifying, or is it cute?

Nietzsche poses it every bit a haunting thought experiment: imagine that a demon appears to you when yous're in a country of anguish or loneliness. It tells you most eternal recurrence in edgeless terms — you will take to repeat your life an infinite number of times, with the same thoughts and emotions and events. Then he asks what your reaction would be:

"Would you non throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or take you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would take answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more than divine.'"

Because it would have to be either of those extremes, wouldn't it? If I were to guess, I'd say that near of us would probably cringe at the idea of repeating everything in our life. No affair how fulfilled we might feel in the nowadays, it's painful to imagine going through all of the embarrassing mistakes again, the incertitude, the trauma. Whatsoever lessons we've learned would be undone. Nosotros would have to grapple with the same issues again — granted, we would be mercifully unaware of the repetition, simply it'due south however frustrating to consider.

On the other hand, there would exist no real goodbye. Whatever skillful thing we've encountered or whoever we love would always come back to us, somewhat like in the movie fifty Kickoff Dates where a main character's retention resets every solar day then it's as if she keeps meeting her beau for the kickoff time.

Betwixt both of these, how would y'all answer Nietzsche?

When I read it the kickoff time around, my instinctive reaction was horror. Revulsion. It sounded like a fate worse than hell, comparable to the myth of Sisyphus where he'south doomed to push a heavy boulder up a mount for all eternity — only to accept information technology come tumbling downwards again in one case he reaches the peak. There are no torturous fires here, no excruciating pain like Prometheus's liver beingness eaten up by an eagle, but the pointlessness and lack of meaning, the monotony of it, would possibly be more than than enough to drive ane to madness — if we were conscious of it.

I didn't want to go through my by again. If anything, in a universe where we could relive our lives, I'd scramble for the chance to make edits. To take culling paths, exploring who I could have been otherwise and actualizing every "what if." It'd be the perfect makeover — I'd redo everything until I had the best possible effect.

So I daydreamed briefly, imagining the changes I'd make.

But then I stopped later just a few seconds. Because… if I made a different choice so I could avert a bad thing, that would catapult me into another life birthday. And I wouldn't have gotten to know the people that I'k close to right now, the experiences that came to ascertain me, the places that still stand up out vibrantly in my retentivity.

To avert something unpleasant, I would have to give up the skillful things that it concluded up leading to, whether directly or indirectly.

I thought about passing past my best friend somewhere in the metropolis, or seeing my partner's writing somewhere online and feeling a tug of connectedness, a sense of deja-vu — simply information technology would be one-sided, because to them I would only be a stranger.

Surprisingly, that was a price I wasn't sure I was willing to pay. Even if, theoretically, I wouldn't recollect, and other people would fill in the gap, perchance even fit it better, I had this stubborn sense that I couldn't simply supervene upon people like that. And in a foreign manner, this life — equally imperfect equally information technology has been — is mine.

Could I throw almost of information technology away, simply like that?

Nietzsche followed up with this:

"The question in each and every thing, 'Exercise yous want this once more and innumerable times more than?' would prevarication upon your actions as the greatest weight. Or how well disposed would you have to get to yourself and to life?"

In a earth where every activeness comes dorsum for united states of america again to enact, I suppose we would tread more advisedly. What he's asking is nothing less than: what choices are worth repeating, for all eternity?

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Source: https://medium.com/bigger-picture/what-if-you-had-to-repeat-your-life-forever-5d2c14e63222

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